Sunday, March 6, 2016

I'm Offended!

I really should have known better. I've been down the path before, but yet I willingly strolled into the mix, partly trying to gather an understanding of the issue.

In the end, I just ended up offending someone for some reason.

It seems, in this day and age, it is an easy thing to do. Everyone seems to be offended by everything. Wrong politics? I'm offended. Wrong religion? I'm offended. Wrong language? Skin color? Career? I'm offended.

I don't get it. Really.

I don't get offended, myself. Angry? Yes. Confused? Yes. Frustrated? Yes.

Offended? No, because, in my opinion, to be offended you have to take the offending person as an expert in the situation and that they are personally attacking you for being uninformed. Sorry, but unless you are truly an expert and can back up your claims with evidence, you are just shooting off your mouth. Move along please.

But there I was, trying to interject my thoughts on a couple of different situations, not condemnation, yet I was the offender? Have we become so sensitive that everything not in 100% agreement with our views is "offensive?" And yet, the quest for "knowledge" is at an all time high? How do you gain knowledge unless you ask questions, or view things from a different angle? But more often than not, knowledge appears only to be useful if it agrees with the person you are talking to. Beyond that, it is offensive. I may go so far to say that those who profess this greater desire to have knowledge are actually the easiest to be offended.

The event that prompted my relegation to the role of offender was a discussion concerning Deaf vs deaf vs hearing.

I should know better. I shouldn't even get involved in the discussion at all. But it has some meaning for me. As a person who is deaf, am I to consider myself Deaf? Hearing? deaf? Nothing?

I don't really fit in the hearing world anymore. After all I am deaf. Even though I use Cochlear implants and am what some have called "high functioning" with them, I am still deaf. If they fail, I'm deaf. When I take them off, I'm deaf. In all aspects of the hearing world, I am not hearing, and yet I am not Deaf.

The difference between deaf and Deaf may be a greater divide than hearing and deaf. Deaf is a culture. deaf is a condition. I can't hear, therefore I am deaf, but I was not raised without being able to hear, which is the culture of being Deaf. It is a different identity. A different perspective. And one that I can't wrap my head around, or for that matter, embrace.

I have tried, but I just don't understand it. I doubt I ever will. As a culture, Deaf seems to be one that is struggling with it's own identity as well. Sign language is good, unless it's not. Speaking is NOT good, unless it is. Hearing is good, unless it's not. Hearing aids are OK, maybe, but cochlear implants cross the line. Or maybe they don't. It all depends, but they may or may not accept you for it. And as a culture, you won't know until you have offended someone. Then you will know. Trust me.

It's for that reason that I will never be able to accept being part of Deaf culture. I'm deaf- a condition, not a culture.

Maybe my perspective would change if I was raised as a Deaf person. Then again, maybe I have reached the point in my life where I've fought my battles and where I am is where I am. I have little need to prove myself to anyone anymore. And I have little need to be offended for not fitting into a narrow description coined by others. Take me for what I am or move on, but don't expect to drag me into petty disagreements over verbiage.

Life is too short to be so easily offended.

'Til next time


Just a guy trying to live with an invisible, potentially debilitating illness


  1. I was attempting to explain this point in another group founded for a different subject, in which the moderators failed to control content. They kept asking me if this or that subject offended me. I kept trying to explain "no, I just expect to see groups contain content relevant to the name".

    Groups exist for a shared purpose, on and off the 'net. I feel for the deaf and blind groups who are faced now with technological challenges to their cultural identity. Asking people to be pure in thier approach to living thier own lives is foolishness. A group should work to be inclusive, not be divisive about the minutia of an individual life. We all die alone that way.

    1. Excellent points. The divisiveness serves no purpose but to further divide.

  2. Excellent and well written post, Dennis. I can relate to all points you mention. I,too, strive for more knowledge in all things however, I am not easily offended. For me, the more knowledge I have, the more I can view opposing viewpoints with an open mind. For those that are too easily offended, I think they're just afraid of discovering their views are not necessarily correct. They may not be wrong either. Just my thoughts.

    1. Thank you so much, Rob. I'm glad you liked it, and could identify with it.